Gone Away
by Gwen.writes
Summary: In which love makes everything harder and true heroes and their stories may not have happy ends. Annabeth's in love with Percy, and he's in love with her, and responsibility for their actions makes them stay away from each other. -Threepiece, bit of AU, rated T for swearing words, description of fighting scenes and mentioning of suicide.
1. GONE AWAY PART ONE

**Title:**

Gone Away

 **Fandom:** Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus

 **Short Summary:** In which love makes everything harder and true heroes and their stories may not have happy ends. Annabeth's in love with Percy, and he's in love with her, and responsibility for their actions makes them stay away from each other.

 **Pairing:** Percabeth [Percy x Annabeth]

 **Warning:** Contains minor swearing and fighting since I wrote this AND some of you might hate me while reading this, but whatever.

 **Disclaimer:** PJO, Gone, Gone, Gone and Glorious do not belong to me and they're owned by its respectful owners. The same applies for any Marvel or The Big Bang Theory reference in here.

 **Song:** Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips, because I simply love this song and it's just downright beautiful and perfect for this story. I'm always almost crying when I hear it. Mr. Phillips deserves an award for this song or something. Glorious by Macklemore just happens to be here for the ones of you readers, who don't like where this story goes and totally want HoO to happen.

 **Extra note:** English is my second language. Any expressed opinions in this story belong to me and might not concur with yours.

 **Published on:** 12/8/2017, Wattpad; 12/27/2017,

 **Word count:** 15,555 words

-•-

"A lot of honorable people died in the last days." The deep, calm voice of the centaur echoed through the pavilion. Most kids in this place lost someone close to them and every face was grave and their eyes sad, some year rounders in the younger ages had glassy eyes from all the crying. Percy swallowed and didn't dare looking at someone specific.

"We will remember them as heroes, brave half-bloods who gave their lives to save you, their loved ones, New Yorker mortals, the gods - the whole world," Chiron continued and his voice was something between unbelievable sad and proud. Percys heart clenched.

"We will remember them as friends who were loved, supported and helped by you, because you're a part of their story, of their legend, the reason why they fought."

Percy thought of the time, when the half-bloods marked him as their leader. He was full of hope then, but it didn't help. So many died and if he hadn't called them, they'd sit right here between their siblings. The truth was, even though he, Annabeth and everybody tried to make him think otherwise, they all knew it. He was the reason for this war. For those deaths. For everything. Percy turned his head and looked at the endless sea, restless and untamable.

"I will remember them as pupils, you will remember them as comrades. I couldn't be more proud of them and you, you both became stronger, better, more genuine and earnest than any hero before. The stories from this war will be told millenia after now. May the dead heroes of this war find their peace in Elysium."

As everybody raised their goblets and chanted "May they!", dozens of luminous drinks were seen from the sky. At this moment, Percy was one of the crowd. But this moment'll only last a few seconds.

-•-

Whispers. Furtive glances. Fingers pointing at him and raised eyebrows.

Percy knew they were there. They'd never stop. Rumors about the war. Him bathing in the River Styx and becoming invulnerable. Him battling and defeating Kronos. Him being offered to be a god and rejecting. Or the old ones: Him being the son of Poseidon and the subject of the Great Prophecy and simply the most powerful demigod alive. He snorted at that.

They probably just needed somebody to stare at. And him being the fault he was, would be the best possibility. He shouldn't be born. Zeus said that, Poseidon said that, Dionysos, Chiron, Annabeth said that . . . or thought that, definitely. He was hope for the half-bloods and this hope led them straight into death.

He ignored them and didn't show any recognition at his name being mentioned. The demigod forced a small, relaxed smile onto his lips, looked at the sea and waited until everybody was gone. The torches emitted a gloomy, warm, orange light and the bonfire where they normally sacrificed their food for the gods crackled.

Two dark figures appeared next to him. The blond haired girl held a blue cake in her hands and her eyes shone with pride. She smiled warmly at him and his lips immediately twitched to smile back, especially when he looked at the failed pastry in her hands. The other one was a big centaur, his front looking like the middle aged man he pretended to be in his wheelchair, his back an elegant, white horse.

"Percy, my boy," Chiron said quietly and placed his hand on his shoulder. "I know, you're blaming yourself for their deaths, but please try to stop that. It was their own decision to fight and that's what makes them heroes."

Percy nodded automatically, although he knew he couldn't stop. After all it was his fault. If he hadn't called them, if he defeated Kronos sooner . . . he could've done so much to save them. He could've been everything, somebody thought of a hero: be stronger, be faster, be more intelligent, be better. But he hadn't been and it took their lives.

"I'll try, Chiron," Percy forced out. It almost scared him how easily the lie slipped out of his mouth. The centaur looked concerned at him, but trotted slowly away.

"I'll make sure he doesn't blame himself," Annabeth said and slid closer to him, punching his arm lightly and radiating pure happiness. She looked more beautiful than ever, even more than when she was fighting, with her gray eyes calm for once and her blonde locks curling openly over her shoulders.

Percy wanted to kiss her pink, healthy lips so badly.

 _Hold on- where did that come from?_ Percy thought. He looked at her again and his brain told him something again: _Don't pretend to not like her. You gave up immortality for her, for Zeus' sake!_ The demigod blushed, looked away and told his brain to shut up.

"Why don't you look at me?" Annabeth teased him. Percy felt his cheeks getting warm and scoffed to play it off. Hopefully the dim light hid his face.

"The light's coming from behind you," he said.

"Oh yeah? Well, I think that you have to look at me to get this." She raised the cake and smiled confidently as Percy looked at her.

"What's this?" He asked with raised eyebrows. "A blue chocolate brick?"

"I'm hurt," she stated, looking offended. "That's my first try in baking, Seaweed Brain."

"Don't be," he said, suppressing a laugh and scooting closer to her. She smiled brightly at him. "I'm sure it still tastes nice. Anyway, why did you gave me this?"

"Technically I didn't gave it to you by now," she told him grinning. "But you forgot, didn't you? Even though your birthday was the topic of the Great Prophecy, you still forgot it."

Percy opened and closed his mouth, looking like a fish out of water. He looked at his hands, sore from wounds and all the hours of holding Riptide. She was right. Today was the eighteenth August, his birthday. He was sixteen now. And he hadn't realized.

"How does it feel, birthday boy?" She asked quietly and leaned in to give him a hug. "Being sixteen?"

Percy could barely breathe as she was so close, he could feel her heart beat. Her hair smelled like oranges, probably freshly washed after the war. After a few awkward seconds where he just tried to think properly with her smelling like that, he closed his arms behind her back and pulled her into him.

"I don't know yet," he answered. "Still too much to process. But I think, that I'm pretty happy at this moment."

"That's nice," she told him. "You deserve to be. You're a hero. You know that, right? They didn't die because of you."

"Let's don't talk about this," he said, feeling nausea prickling in his throat. "I don't want to hear anymore from this today."

She held him away from her, frowning at him in concern, but nodded and looked down. Suddenly, her cheeks became red and Percy realized, he still held her hands firmly. He immediately loosened his grip, but she didn't take her hands away. She stared at him, her face a mixture of emotions - hope, happiness, uncertainty. Percy couldn't look away, even after feeling a blush creeping on his cheeks, again.

Percy remembered the one time he met Aphrodite, the love goddess, in the midst of the American deserts. She'd told him he liked Annabeth, and that he should only focus on finding and saving her. Keeping her safe was his first priority, it has always been. And slowly, he started to see the truth behind Aphrodite's words. He probably confessed it during the war and after the offering of the gods. He really, truly liked Annabeth Chase.

"Look, who isn't affected by the light anymore," she whispered, teasing him lightly. Her small, skillful hands tightened around his wrists and his breath hitched in his throat.

"I-I guess, I'll have to learn, how to cope with that," he answered. Annabeth laughed lightly and looked at him. He just stared back. How was it possible that he hadn't realized her true beauty before? Sure, she has always been the pretty girl, but right now she looked like a goddess. Probably prettier than Aphrodite herself.

Finally, she leaned back. He immediately missed the warmth her body had radiated towards him and her smile became a little more forced. "Godsdammit, Jackson," she said and punched him. Hard. Gods, this girl wasn't just pretty and smart, she was incredible strong too.

"What?" He asked, rubbing his arm, and frowned. She looked disappointed and a little bit angry. "What was that for?"

"For you being a complet idiot," Annabeth retorted, crossing her arms. He felt a smile creeping to his lips and wanted to answer, but she didn't let him. Her eyes flared with anger and she pointed at his face. "Ah-ah-ah! Don't you dare smiling so adorably goofy again, without me being prepared!"

Percy couldn't help it: His jaw almost fell to the ground. Every sign of a smile vanished and his eyes widened like saucers. "Did - did you just call me adorable?"

She huffed in annoyance, crossing her arms over her chest again. "Of course I did, Seaweed Brain. Are you really that oblivious?"

"W-what?"

She stared disbelievingly at him, her eyebrows raised more than Percy thought, it was possible. "Are you serious?" She asked. "You, Percy Jackson, are the most dumb, careless, loyal and absolutely endearing person in the whole world. I. Like. You. You. Dumbass. And you like me too, don't you? What else do you need as proof? Me kissing you again? Me taking a knife for you again? Me giving up Luke for you again?"

Her eyes became shiny at the mention of her former crush. He couldn't help but stand up and hugging her tightly. She was his best friend and he totally fell in love with her. Every second being with her proofed that more and every second he liked her more. And now, after her confessing she liked him . . . maybe he could finally have some happiness and normalcy in his life.

Percy Jackson wanted nothing more. The feeling of her lips against his, her trim body engulfed in his chest, her stormy gray eyes staring into his. Nothing gave him quite the confidence just seeing her did. Nothing made his heart ache more than reaching out and pushing her blonde curls behind her ears, knowing that he had to be careful, slowly and silent. And she wanted it too.

He remembered.

Danger. Fear. Fights. Death.

 _Love is difficult,_ he realized. _And I love her._

"I can't," he said quietly. His throat felt raw after saying those two words. Tears burned in his eyes. He swallowed his sobs down. The wind surrounding him increased, became colder, brought anguish into his soul. The waves from the ocean mirrored his feelings, clashing against each other and the sandy beach, throwing triplets of water high into the air in proclamation of a storm. The summer sun setting on the horizon left her hair with a golden shimmer.

"Hm?" She snuggled closer into him and buried her face in his chest, her hands comforting his neck. He felt his necklace being pulled accidently and remembered everything. Talon took Bianca. Atlas took Zoë. The camp fight took Lee and Pollux. The labyrinth took Daedalus. The explosion took Beckendorf. The bridge fight took Micheal. The draconian took Silena. Kronos took Ethan and Luke. Countless others died, not because of fate but of hope, because of him.

"I can't," he repeated more firmly and loosened his grip on her hips. Slowly taking a small step back, she looked at him frowning - concern, bewilderment, apprehension. She hugged herself as the wind blew her loose hair into the air, making her look like a goddess. Goosebumps rose on her bare arms, the California tanned skin standing out against the slowly darkening sky.

"You can't," she said. Firmly - no question, no expression in her voice which could tell him what she was thinking. Percy felt as if every wound he ever got, was opened again, bleeding him out. "Don't you love me?"

"No."

"Oh."

They stared at each other. His throat felt raw enough to vomit right then and there. Her eyes watered and she wiped them furiously. She knew. Of course she did. Annabeth was the smartest person on this planet. She knew when he lied. And he did lie. Nothing was ever so difficult.

He wanted to take it back, kiss her, pleading her to forgive him for that, but he couldn't. Being a demigod was dangerous. But being the girlfriend of the most wanted, powerful demigod would put her into a risk, where he didn't know how to protect her. It was his only chance to keep her safe.

"You don't love me," she said emotionless. Her nails clawed into her skin and left red marks. "You don't even like me that way. You didn't give up immortality for me. You didn't search me, because you love me, you searched me, because I'm your best friend. Am I right?"

 _No. No, you aren't._ He wanted to yell, to cry, to beat himself up, he wanted to change everything just to be with her. But he couldn't. He had to restrain himself. He had to keep her safe. That was better than her being dead. Like all the other demigods.

"Yes," he croaked, trying to stay steady, but being completely desperate and restless inwardly.

"Dammit, Jackson," she said, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. "Why do you have to be like that?"

"I'm sorry. Don't cry, please," he breathed forlorn, holding her beautiful face in his hands. She didn't stop, in fact, the tears fell even faster after his words. His heart felt crushed like Olympus. He tried to wipe her cheeks with his thumbs, but ended up pulling her in to give her a hug. His shirt became wet, but he didn't care. He had to do this. He loved the way, her body fit into his. _Don't lose your composure,_ he repeated frantically inside his mind.

"You're killing me, Seaweed Brain," she whispered, hiccupping, the tears flowing as if she'd been holding them back for years. She probably did. Annabeth was such a strong girl, but everybody had to cry sometimes. Percy just didn't like that he was the reason for it.

"Annabeth-" He stopped talking, feeling his voice crack and almost spilling out the truth. He couldn't. He shouldn't, he wouldn't, he couldn't. He was killing himself, literally.

"We're still friends, right?" She mumbled into his chest, sniffling. "I'll try to restrain myself, I promise. Really. I . . . I'll focus on rebuilding Olympus and Camp . . . and you'll be with your mom and Paul and go to school . . . I'll stay away from you for a little . . . maybe . . . maybe everything . . . will settle down a bit . . . oh gods, I'm so sorry." She wiped her eyes again. "I didn't want to . . . I thought . . . I'm such an idiot."

"Annabeth, stop it," he said sadly. "Don't . . . Don't be sorry. It's my fault. Everything. Not yours. You're perfect. You're my best friend. You're going to be happy with someone else."

"I-" Annabeth closed her eyes before looking at Percy with her big, gray, beautiful eyes. "I'll try. But I don't think, I'll be able to. At least not for a long time. It's just . . . Gods, can I be honest for once? I . . . would feel better, I think. I just want to explain." She took a long breath in.

"Of course," Percy whispered into her hair, smelling the oranges again. _Are you serious?_ He asked his brain. _I'm trying not to lose the last composure I have and you make me notice_ that _again?_

"I-I liked you for a long time, you know?" She said. His throat tightened while he was trying to hold back his tears. Why was life so hard? They just saved Olympus today. Couldn't they have some time to relax? "You - you were just perfect, I guess," she continued, mumbling into his shirt.

He swallowed hard, wanting to tell her the same, to tell her everything. How he thought, she looked like a Disney Princess, the first time, he saw her. How she was the only reason, he wanted to go on the quest to save Artemis. How their kiss in Mount St. Helens blew his mind. How she was the only reason that kept him moving in the River Styx. How he felt about her.

But he couldn't. He was starting to feel like the most dumb and cursed person in the world. How was he supposed to move on after that?

"You saved my life so many times." Her voice so small and strained to stay steady, he heard it. _She'll move on,_ he tried to convince himself. "You're the bravest, most honest and simply the best person I know. You were always by my side. I guess, between achieving numerous life threatening quests and still being good, sweet and loyal, I fell in love with you. I-"

"Stop," Percy croaked. "You - I can't, okay? I can't stand hearing this right now." _You'll move on, she'll move on, you'll be friends after that, your feelings will settle down-_

Annabeth closed her eyes and nodded, straining to pull away. Percys stomach felt cold and hollow, missing the feeling of being able to tell her everything. His hands held her wrists, distressed, longing, caring. She looked at him like at a star: too beautiful to look away, but to bright to look at without pain, too far away to reach out and grab him. He closed his eyes, trying to escape this look. That was war in his heart.

"Can I-" She stopped, before starting again. "Can I kiss you? Just once?"

"That'll make everything harder," he breathed, still not looking at her. It was too difficult. She was too freaking perfect. A kiss would make everything harder for him, to stay away, to restrain himself, to still look at her without breathing heavily.

"Please," she whispered pleading. "Just once. I'll never ask for that again, I promise." Her eyes held so much sorrow, so much hope, so much feelings, Percy couldn't reject. Inwardly, he wanted it too. But he knew he shouldn't let that happen. It would only tempt him to be with her, tell her the truth, kissing her back with the need and longing he felt.

"Okay."

Her lips met his, slowly, lightly, testing his limit. He hated that. He couldn't help but want to feel her again, longer than in that volcano. After a few seconds, his mind lost control and he pulled her in. His lips crushed hers with curiosity and yearning, making her yelp but kissing back just as passionate. Their eyes closed and Annabeth threaded her fingers into his hair, pulling his head down to her lips to fit better.

The kiss softened and Percys fingers trembled over her waist. How was he supposed to stop that? How was he supposed to do anything after that? How was he supposed to keep her safe with them longing for each other? He noticed her lips tasting like strawberries, the same ones growing around the Camp. He could barely hold back a moan at the thought, of never tasting that again.

Rain started pouring down the sky, wetting them through the open pavilion. Their salty tears mixed with the small droplets, leaving hot and cold trails of water on their skin. The wind roared around them like a wild animal, like his feelings being caved in his heart and wanting to get out. The waves on the ocean clashed against each other even higher than before, pulling sand into the sea and destroying the sandcastles of younger half-bloods from before the war. The rain extinguished the torches and bonfire, leaving them only in the shine of the moon behind dark clouds. The blue cake didn't look all too well anymore.

They finally stopped. Nothing felt more wrong in ever, but Percy pulled away and shook himself out of his daze. His fingers clawed into his arms like Annabeths before, restraining him from touching her again. Annabeths eyes were half closed, partly from holding back tears, partly from not wanting to see him away from her. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the rock in his stomach, but it didn't help.

She finally looked at him again, her expression hidden in the darkness of the night. The only thing standing out were her soft, golden curls and the orange Camp shirt, sticking to her perfect body. "I don't get you," she said quietly. He saw her eyes shining bright, reflecting the silver moon light. They held vulnerability and pain, like never before. She has always been the strong planner, leading everybody through the darkest times and still managing to radiate hope.

She knew. She understood. But she didn't want to understand. She wanted to sway him, to pretend there was another possibility. But Percy knew, there was none. He couldn't risk her life. He couldn't risk changing his mind.

He turned around and started walking away, his legs heavy and pulling him to the ground, wanting him to stop and tell her the truth. He didn't want to be the reason of her suffering. But what he wanted, didn't count. He had to keep her safe. He had to.

The last thing he would hear from her for a long time, were just eight words:

"But you're a damn good kisser, Percy Jackson."

-•-

"Are you sure, Percy?" Grover looked concerned at him, his brown eyes big with fear. Percy knew, his best friend was probably one of the bravest people he ever met, but he could also read his feelings as a satyr. "You're not going to do something stupid, are you?"

"You know, I can't promise that," Percy told him. The other one pulled nervously one of his rasta locks out of his green beanie. If Percy didn't know he was a satyr, he wouldn't have noticed the small horns showing through the fabric. "But I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, really. I just don't want to put you into that risk anymore."

"But Percy . . . you survived a war! You survived Kronos! You have the curse of Achilles! Who would survive, if not you?" Grover looked disbelievingly at him, his lips a thin line.

"Please, Grover, I just want to keep you safe. I'm Poseidons son after all. Zeus could always decide, he's sick of me and kill me with a lightning."

"He wouldn't! Poseidon wouldn't let him! I wouldn't let him!"

"Grover!" Percy looked up, right into the eyes of his best friend. The satyr was distraught, looking like he held up the sky for weeks. Annabeth did that - holding up the sky. She was stronger than anyone, stronger than him, Hercules, the gods. Because she was perfect. He closed his eyes, trying to get his mind off of the blonde, beautiful girl. "Please. I never asked for much, did I? Please do it. I won't die like that - killing myself. I promise. Really."

"Swear," Grover claimed, concern lacing in his voice.

"Godsdammit, Grover, I swear on the River Styx I won't kill myself. Holy Hera, that sounds like I'm unstable." His best friend looked rather relieved, though. He touched Percys forehead, closed his eyes and murmured something under his breath. The demigod felt something warm and familiar leaving him, disappearing with the hand of the satyr touching him.

"Percy-" Grover hesitated uncertainly. "Annabeth's not good. She misses you - not just like that, also because you're her best friend. Can't you at least Iris messaging her?"

"Sorry, don't have drachmas at home," Percy hedged quickly. _Annabeth's not good._ Oh gods, she should be okay by now. She should do much better without him, after three months. She shouldn't suffer anymore by now. She should look after other boys - this buff Hephaestos kid, for example. Or the only skinny son of Ares. Or join the hunt. Yeah, the hunt would do good. Then he didn't have to be jealous or even more sad.

"Then I'll send her to you," Grover said. "Tell her, you invited her. She would be so happy. Please, Percy, I know you're trying to protect her - us - but that doesn't mean capping every bond with your friends."

"Grover -" Percy sighed exasperated.

"Please, do it for her," Grover pleaded. "You're still her friend, aren't you? You have to be there for her, when she needs you. And she does need you right now."

"But you don't know how hard it is," Percy croaked, holding back tears at the memory of his last birthday. "It would kill me, seeing her again."

"Percy, she needs you more than anything right now, even with you being the reason of her current state. Tomorrow, at four?"

He flinched. Her current state. That sounded like she was on the brink to death. _No, no, no, she should feel better without me, not die because of that!_ His heart felt more crushed than ever. How was he supposed to handle this? How could he help her, without being tempted to just kiss her? His throat felt too raw to answer, so he just nodded silently. Tears burned in his eyes and after Grover hugging him and disappearing in the woods, he finally let them flow again.


	2. GONE AWAY PART TWO

A doorbell ringing. Percy shoot up from the couch and nervously ran a hand through his hair, trying to comb it somehow. He'd decided to not dress up noticeable better, after all this was just a meeting between friends. No date. _It'll not become a date, Jackson,_ he thought to himself. _Don't lose your composure, once you see her. Don't lose-_

He opened the front door and almost yelped in surprise. A blonde hurricane flew towards the apartment and crashed him through the doorway. Something surrounded his chest, squeezing so tightly he almost couldn't breath. Wild, curly hair slapped into his face as he stood there, completely shocked.

Then Annabeth released him and took a step back. Percy could almost hear his jaw hitting the ground. She looked like . . . the ultra goddess or something. Her slim, long legs were pronounced through a blue, faded skinny jeans. She'd put on a blouse in the same shade as his blue cookies, he once offered her. Her hair lay freshly washed, open and shiny, neatly in curls on top of her gray coat. Her stormy gray eyes shone with relief and joy.

But after that, he noticed it. Her eyes had deep, dark blue bags under them. He could see them, even though she put on some make-up to hide them. Her cheeks were shrunken as if she didn't eat a thing since he left her. He was sure, she could still fight and glare her enemies into the ground, but she seemed pretty weak on her legs. As he removed her coat and hung it over a armchair in the living room, he noticed her figure unhealthy slim.

She watched him staring at her with a knowing, sad smile. "I know. I thought you don't want to talk to me after . . . the war and that took my appetite a little."

"Oh gods, Annabeth," he whispered. His chest tightened and his heart felt heavier than any time before. She was definitely not doing good. This was his responsibility. His blame. His absence didn't do any good to either of them. Not to her and definitely not to him. Could he let this happen? Was this keeping her safe or just putting her in other danger and even more suffering? Could he do this to her?

"I'm so sorry, Wise Girl," he mumbled and pulled her into a hug. She hugged him back just as tightly and passionate. Gods, how he loved this girl. Beautiful, all knowing, sweet Annabeth. Could he stand this absence from her life anymore? It felt impossible to leave her again.

"Don't be," she mumbled into his shoulder. "It's not your fault."

"Of course it is," Percy said, wanting to beat himself up for not looking after her. His heart fluttered with hope, with love, with concern, with rage, with disappointment, with so much emotions, he felt like he would explode, if he didn't tell her about everything right now. "I know it. Oh gods, I - Annabeth, I -" He was interrupted by a stomach rumbling loud. Part of him was disappointed, but he was mostly relieved, he didn't tell her. He had to think about this first.

"Look, who does have appetite now," he said playfully, sounding light, but forcing every word out of his mouth. "I'll get something to eat." He wanted to close his mouth, shut up and just think. Think about telling her or not. Obviously, he couldn't protect her from danger through being away, but could he risk protecting her from danger through being with her?

In the kitchen he first grabbed the pancakes his mother made him to lunch. Of course he didn't eat them, because he was to nervous to meet Annabeth again. That turned out to be his luck. He put them in the microwave and searched again for food. They had cookies, cheese, cornflakes, some apples because Paul loved them, a little bit bread, honey and chocolate. Exactly why his mother was out today. She and Paul were buying food and a few outfits for them, because of some party they have to go to with his mother being a author and everything.

"That looks amazing," Annabeth said, watching him coming out of the kitchen with full plates. She smiled so bright, he could even see her teeths.

"What?" Percy teased playfully. "The plates or me?" Annabeths mouth dropped open and Percy immediately stiffened. What was wrong with him?

"Did you just flirt with me, Seaweed Brain?" Annabeth asked, eyes shining in a bright silver. She stared at him down from the couch while he put the plates on the table. _Idiocy will always have consequences,_ his brain told him. Sometimes he wished, he didn't has a brain like so many people thought.

"I did not," Percy scoffed, snatching a cookie out of the box. He sat down onto the couch next to Annabeth with a little gap between them.

Annabeths lips twitched into a smile. He couldn't believe it. Her even just believing he flirted with her, made her happy enough to smile truly, and seeing him made her wanting to eat again. How could he ever do something so stupid and harming to her and not showing his true feelings? "I think, you did."

"I did not!" Percy exclaimed. "And now eat or I get it."

Annabeth laughed. She really laughed. Loud. Happy. True. No pretending. Percys heart bubbled with joy. He made her laugh. Like all the times before the war, during their adventures. And that truly was the best thought he had in the last three months. It made him laugh too, even though he risked showing his feelings. Should he show her or not? Could they be friends like before? Was that possible? Obviously, she had to see him, as friend or boyfriend, whatever, but what was better - for _both_ of them?

He watched her eating properly for the first time in probably days or even weeks. Her curls fell down her shoulders longer than he remembered. She grew a little, but he was kind of relieved to still be taller than her. Her skin became a little less tanned, it was almost winter after all, but it still complimented her blond hair and her gray eyes. Even though she was definitely not in the best condition, she became more beautiful than he could imagine.

To distract himself from her heart crunching, adorable eating habits, for example always turning the fork in her mouth - was noticing that creepy? -, he decided to turn on the TV. Not that he could concentrate on the show with Annabeth sitting right next to him. His cheeks were getting red as he remembered the kiss they shared on his birthday.

Annabeth moaned suddenly and Percy looked at her, alarmed. "What? What is it? Is something with the food?"

She snorted and held one hand in front of her mouth, before she said, "Of course you'd first ask if there's something with the food."

"I didn't mean it like that!" He protested. "I thought you had an allergic reaction or something-"

She rolled her eyes and Percys heart skipped a beat at the familiarity of this situation. "First of, I'm not allergic and you know that. That's the opportunity of being a demigod - if I had one, it would have disappeared when I first ate ambrosia." His mouth popped open in a silent _oh._

"And then: I know that you've asked me if I had something against the food, you dumbass. You're Percy Jackson, your friends are way more important for you than food - though it's the second most important thing."

He smiled sheepishly and she looked away, abruptly. He frowned and she looked at him again, her face sad and longing. "Don't you get it?" She asked softly. "I tried to make conversation. To distract myself from you being the cutest person in the world."

His breath hitched and he stared at her, not knowing what to say. His heart was a hurricane of emotions, without control and without knowing what he really felt. He swallowed hard and once again asked himself if he could risk it. Tell her the truth or not? "You still . . ."

"I'll never stop and I'm sorry for that Percy," she said, smiling sadly. "I tried, really. I promised you. But you . . . I don't know, raised my expectations and imaginations of a boyfriend into impossibility, even without being mine. Into an area where just you're resting."

Percy felt his throat tightening and couldn't help but take her hand in his. She didn't look up at him, just to the ground. Finally, she inhaled deeply and shook her head. "Sorry," she said and smiled a little bit forced.

"It's . . . It's okay," he croaked. "I understand. I'm your friend, you can talk to me about everything." She nodded dully, staring at his face, not at his eyes, but at his lips. He stared back, feeling a familiar urge to touch her more than just holding her hand. Pushing her golden ringlets back, craning his neck to get into the best position to kiss her, feeling her strawberry lips again.

They were pale and pink now, looking more inviting than ever. He wanted to taste them again, so badly he almost couldn't stop himself. Why holding back? Tell her the truth or not? He couldn't leave her, he knew that - mostly because he wanted to keep her safe, and her current state proofed that being away didn't protect her. But being with her - could that really be the right choice?

"So, umm . . . why did you moan when I turned on the TV, Wise Girl?" He turned his head with every self control he had left to the TV and watched Sheldon sitting in a police station and talking to an officer.

Annabeth shook her head and leaned away, grabbing a cookie and leaning onto the armrest further away from him. His heart didn't feel like a heart anymore - more like a black hole, nothingness, complete misery. But he put himself into that, didn't he?

"Idiot. That's The Big Bang Theory," Annabeth explained, without looking at him. "They're talking about so many senseless things. I mean, physics isn't my specialty, but everybody knows that the episode with the space toilet is totally illogical - how should that work? And the North Pole thing, why are they alone up there? And where are they? Because they're definitely not on the North Pole, there is no mainland. They're possibly in Greenland and that would mean, their data would be wrong."

Percy laughed, forgetting the former subject for a moment and just let his happiness flow out of him. Annabeth smiled truly at him, enjoying his company. "You're watching The Big Bang Theory in the Athena cabin?"

"Of course," Annabeth retorted. "Then we know, how to do it definitely not. And we have something to laugh about."

"Next time you're watching," Percy said grinning. "Tell me and I come."

Her smile faded a little. "I don't know . . . I don't believe, you would want me to do that."

"Why?" Percy frowned, his happy mood turning to thoughtful. He was a lot more happy in this few minutes with her than in three months without her, he noticed.

"My siblings are . . . kind of mad at you," she mumbled, looking sheepish. "The Camp is mostly unsecure about this - some hold up to you, some do not, some said nothing yet. I didn't want that, of course!" She added hurriedly. "They did that without me."

"I understand," Percy said quietly. He felt a little bit betrayed by the Campers, but was also relieved that some didn't go against him. Mostly because Annabeth still sticked to him. "Well," He finally said, standing up and clapping his hands together. "What about a movie? Frozen? Nemo? Or what do you want?"

She watched him and shook her head, smiling. "Always the kid, aren't you?"

"These are classics!" He protested. "And you know me. I love these kids films. They don't have all these serious topics in them."

"Aww, would that be too much for your brain, Seaweed Brain?" She laughed.

"Definitely," he said, grinning down at her. "So, what do you think?"

She stood up too and looked at the films, Percy showed her. "What I think . . ." She said thoughtfully. Annabeth pushed a golden curl behind her ear, then looked at him and even down at his lips again. He blushed and she nibbled at her lip, nervously. "I think, we're avoiding the topic, Percy."

He swallowed and stuttered, "What topic?" His heart beat was so violent, he didn't know how she couldn't hear it.

Slowly the girl lifted her gaze up to his eyes, her expression full of sorrow. "I know everything, Percy," she said softly. "Don't play with me. I know, you like me the same way I do. I know, you're trying to protect me. I know, that's the reason why you don't want to be with me. You do love me, don't you?"

-•-

"What about Iron Man?" Zayne asked. "Or Captain America? They are heroes, aren't they? They saved the world!"

"No," Percy said, feeling hollow at the mention of this word. Hero. He was supposed to be one. To save people. But he didn't do that. _You're a hero, you know that?_ Annabeths voice told him in his mind and his gut clenched, remembering every beautiful feature of her. He thought of her earlier today, looking like death even more than Nico. He hated seeing her like that. He felt like that too, but she shouldn't. She should move on, like somebody else, somebody better than him, somebody who was able to protect her.

"No?" Zayne repeated, disbelief in his voice. "What the hell is a hero, in your mind, then?" Percy walked silently for a few seconds, thinking about the question. What could he let out? What could he tell?

"Sure, they are some kind of American heroes, " he said thoughtfully. "Saving the world shouldn't meet ingratitude. But they aren't true heroes. True heroes fight because they have someone to protect. They suffer because they protect their loved ones. They're holding up their facades, staying behind masks, not doing that for fame or because they're told so, they're doing that, because they're able to. True heroes have a reason why they fight, a reason basing on love, family, friends. Sure, Iron Man does love Pepper Potts and he honored this scientist and everything, but . . . revealing his true identity put Pepper into danger and that isn't what a hero would do."

Zayne smiled and looked at him, impressed. "You're a real poet, Percy Jackson. Are you writing or something?"

Percy shook his head and looked to the ground. "Mom's an author," he mumbled. _You're a hero, you know that?_ Was he? Basing on what he said, he was one. He truly loved Annabeth, but he wasn't with her to her own safety. So, was she right? Was he a true hero?

 _No,_ he decided, ignoring the hope flaring in his chest. He would not lose his composure, just because she was at his house today. He would not. _Heros are always getting happy ends. That's not me._

"That explains everything," Zayne said dryly. He punched his arm playfully. "But anyway, so you're saying, people like Spider-man are true heroes? Even though he lost Gwen in The Amazing Spider-man 2?"

Percy hesitated. "Kinda. It wasn't smart to be with Gwen, but at least he tried. But that's our . . . umm, his destiny. Longing for something too good. Suffering from that yearning. He lost the fight with himself, put Gwen in danger with loving her openly."

"Like Tony Stark," Zayne pointed out, trying to argue with his opinion.

"Not really. Kinda, but not really," Percy held against him. "Tony Stark had the chance to keep his mask, but he didn't. Peter Parker did. But that was still a risk. Gwens father knew he wouldn't be able to protect his daughter. Of course he would try harder than anything, but it wouldn't help. He would lose Gwen."

"Hm," Zayne said thoughtfully. Then he grinned. "You sound as if you made this experience first hand."

Percy smiled weakly. "I probably do. I mean, I don't have experience in being a hero, but I do know how it is to love somebody, you can't have."

"Hell," his black haired friend said shocked, his steel gray eyes wide. "I didn't know that . . . of all people, you can't have a girl?"

Percys throat tightened, his gut clenched more, his arms became weak and he looked away. All these familiar feelings were coming up again. He couldn't help that. But he also couldn't lose this fight, like Peter Parker. He was rather friends with Annabeth than have her dead like all the others in the years ago. "I-I don't want to talk about that."

"Of course," Zayne said hurriedly. "So, what are you going to write about in the English essay? I can't believe we're going to write letters to our future beings. That's really exciting!"

Percy laughed, ignoring the hollow feeling that appeared in his stomach again. "I don't know yet. I think, I'll write what bothers me right now. Like I could be dead tomorrow. Then I have something to be happy about, when I'm reading this."

"Goddammit, Jackson, you're awfully pessimistic these days," Zayne exclaimed, punching his arm. "That's hang out time now, bro. Stop destroying my good mood."

Percy smiled, shaking his head. "Sorry." But as he looked over the crowds of passengers on the pavements, he could swear, he saw familiar blonde curls appearing in every corner.

-•-

"Ha! I win!" Zayne exclaimed, yanking the joystick around and finishing his last round. Percys airplane steered wearily towards the finish line, but suddenly, a hurricane like wind appeared on the display, sending his airplane through the air and tumbling towards the ground.

"Zeus!" Percy slapped his hand on the game, cursing under his breath. "Why? That's a game!"

Zayne couldn't stop laughing. "How - how the hell did you do that, mate? That's impossible - dammit, that was great!" He broke into another fit of laughter.

"You're a really good friend," Percy said sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest, still glaring at the ceiling out of the corner of his eye. He could swear, there was laughter being heard.

"I know," the other boy said, wiping tears out of his eyes. "It's just hilarious - you winning almost every game in here and now you even did something that bad it's technically impossible."

"I'm known for this kind of things," Percy said grinning, winking expressively at him. Zayne began laughing again. "Let's find something else to do," Percy suggested as they stepped out of the amusement arcade.

"How about the taxi parade downtown?" Zayne asked, putting his jacket back on. Some girls giggled at the sight of them, but Percy quickly looked away as he saw one of them having almost the same blonde hair as Annabeth. _Get her out of your mind!_

"That would be nice," Percy answered tightly, walking quickly down the pavement. His breath formed white, misty clouds of warm air in the clinking cold oxygen.

Zayne ran after him, barely dodging people to catch up with him. "Hey - sorry, ma'am - what the hell, Percy! What was that supposed to be?"

"Just didn't want to miss the parade, okay?" Percy retorted, walking swiftly onwards. "Do you?"

"The parade's all day, Jackson. Stop lying and talk to me," Zayne demanded, crossing his arms.

"It's nothing, Zayne," Percy sighed.

"It doesn't seem like nothing. What's up with you, Jackson?"

Percy walked silently for a few minutes again, trying to find the right words. He wanted to tell somebody, wanted to be comforted, but could this one be Zayne? He didn't even knew about everything that happened, and Percy couldn't tell him. He couldn't put Zayne into the dangerous life of demigods too.

"I see her," he finally forced out. "Okay? Every blonde girl I see, reminds me of her. Every time I see gray eyes or hear something smart being said, I think of her. I loved her, and I see her everywhere. You don't understand. It's hard, almost impossible."

Zayne was quiet for a long time, walking deep in thought beneath him, his hands deep in his pockets. Far away they already saw the yellow taxi cabs in lines moving down the street, colorful stickers covering every bit of their varnish. "Can you tell me more? Or is it too hard?"

"I . . . I can't," he said exasperated. "Just forget it, okay?"

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

"If that's what you want," Zayne said, looking up and at the cabs. "This is awesome! Look at this! Is that a unicorn sticker?"

Percy couldn't help but laugh loudly at the failed image of a white horse with a golden horn and pink mane and tail. That was totally unrealistic. No unicorn had pink hair. "Yeah, and that's a little bit to colorful," he added, pointing at one car that had the side windows and doors covered with huge rainbow stickers.

"Oh god, my eyes!" Zayne cried dramatically, getting strange looks from the strangers around them, but making Percy laugh openly.

They spent almost one and a half hour just walking around, watching taxis and making jokes about passengers and the stickers. Although Percy missed Annabeth more than anything - how did he survive three months without her? -, he laughed openly like he did with her one week ago. Zayne was a really good boy, and he would be a great man someday. Hopefully, Percy would see him that day. But at the moment it didn't feel like he would.

"You're zoning out again, Jackson," Zayne called and brought him back to the present. Percys head snapped up. "Huh?"

"You were like 'Where am I, who am I, what the hell is this freak talking 'bout again," his black haired friend said.

"Sorry," he said hastily. "Just thinking."

"About what?" Zayne asked. When Percy didn't answer, he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Again? Her?"

"No," Percy said.

"Of course," he answered himself, ignoring Percy wisely. "Hell, if you like her that much, why don't you talk with her? It's not like she could resist the famous Percy Jackson charm." He snickered.

"Oh, shut up," Percy growled, thinking not in pain of Annabeth for the first time since his birthday.

"Okay, okay, but I'm serious. Why don't you?" Zayne raised his eyebrows.

"She's my best friend."

The boy looked hurt. "Hey! What 'bout me? How long were you friends?"

"More than four years," Percy answered dryly, but at the same time sadly. Everything was so easy when they were young.

"Oh, okay. Well that's a long time, isn't it," Zayne pointed out.

"It is."

"And why don't you ask her out? I mean, you're not exactly the ugliest guy I've ever met. That competition would totally win Mr Garris."

"Who?" Percy asked confused.

"Our theater teacher, you're not in that group - he always looks like the fish he tries to play all the time. The guy with the huge glasses."

"He tries to play a fish?"

"Or Romeo, I really don't know,"

They grinned at each other. "I think you're avoiding the topic," Zayne then said and wiggled his forefinger in front of Percy. "You'll answer my question. Why don't you ask - I don't even know her name - out?"

"Her name is Annabeth," Percy answered quietly. "And I don't ask her out, because -"

Suddenly, a screech echoed through the streets making Percys ears almost bleed. People looked up, alarmed, before turning back to their business. His eyes widened and he immediately gripped his pen tightly. Zayne stood there, shocked, maybe being with Percy here made him hear the noise for real. The gray clouds separated and Percy could see them for the first time.

They were invisible, sometimes, so seeing them was harder than he originally thought. But sometimes they were boys and horses, eagles and bears. They seemed like wind, clouds, lightning, storm, all mixed together, representing pure energy full of anger. He cursed loudly, earning some weird looks from his sides.

Zayne took two steps back. "Percy?" He asked, hesitantly. "What the hell was that? Did you hear that?" He didn't seem to see the ghosts flying high above them, gathering.

"Not now, Zayne," he said through gritted teeth. He secretly pulled the pen out of his pocket and glanced at the sky. The wind spirits were forming a little hurricane, horrible, smug laughing sounding down to them. No passenger looked up.

Percy had to get away from the main street. Mythological creatures usually didn't care about mortals and whether they hurt them or not. And with the taxi parade and all those bystanders watching, he couldn't fight properly, especially not with ghosts who shot lightnings. The best would be the rooftop of a building, where he could use the water tanks when necessary. Maybe he could use a fire escape . . .

"What the heck?" Zaynes voice reached his ears and hands gripped Percys clothes with surprising force. The son of Poseidon saw something incredible bright flashing and jumped away, pulling his friend with him. Zayne stared at the little, black, burned spot on the pavement with wide eyes. "Percy, you're seeing this too, right? I'm not going nuts, am I? Is it possible, that there is a little bit more wind than normal? Please tell me, that's just some kind of weird storm and there aren't laughing ghosts in the sky who want to shot me with lightnings."

"Zayne," Percy repeated and glared at his friend who seemed frightened to death at this point. He probably spotted specs of the wind ghosts and questioned his sanity now, which Percy would understand if there wasn't immediate danger for the mortals around him coming up. "There are laughing ghosts in the sky, but they want to shot me. I want you to be quiet _just_ for a minute, if you don't want us burned, plus the entire population in the area of 160 feet. I'm trying to come up with a plan."

"A plan? What do you think you want to do against them? Why do they want to shot you? Damn, what's going on here?" Percys friend ranted on and on in his panic, not realizing that his companion wasn't even listening to him anymore. People ignored them mostly and kept walking. Percy knew, that the hurricane was growing and the monsters were going to attack as soon as the wind almost ripped his clothes off of him. Now, people started to look up, confused, and realize the storm forming around them.

"There," Percy muttered, finally spotting an open fire escape not too far away. Zayne looked dully at him, before following his gaze up the metal stairs to a big, open roof where a tank was placed.

"You're kidding me, right?" The black haired boy asked no one in peculiar. "Why on earth would you want to go upstairs when you - hell, that sounds just _downright_ wrong - when you freaking _know,_ there are ghosts who want to kill you with electricity?"

"They're going to hurt people if I don't go," Percy answered absentmindedly, starting to push through the crowds of puzzled mortals, holding his pen higher and ready to transform it into his sword Riptide. "And there are water tanks."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zayne said, angrily. "They're going to hurt you! What kind of advantage yields a water tank to us?"

"Us?" Percy whirled around and stared into his friends' eyes intently. "Nothing. Because you're staying right here. I'm not taking you with me into this fight, you hear me? You're not moving one muscle."

Zayne seemed afraid for a second, not understanding the sudden change in the attitude of his friend, but then he straightened and held his ground. "You can't make me," he told him, firmly. "I'm a free person and using my rights now. I'm not going to let you play the mysterious hero without me, mate."

Percy felt the storm ripping at his hair and he just knew, his eyes were raging like mini oceans right now. The steely gray of Zaynes eyes reminded him of Annabeth and how he made her go in Mount St. Helens. Right before she kissed him . . . he blinked, trying to recover from that memory. Finally he groaned, loudly and frustrated, but a task for his friend was already in his head. "I need you to get everyone away from that street next to the fire escape and into the buildings. The cab drivers too. Hurry and don't take yourself in danger."

Zayne hesitated, eyeing the big crowd of confused people, before nodding determined. "Okay. But what are you going to do? How do you want to stop ghosts?"

"Just hoping they aren't resistent against my ways of fighting," Percy answered wary, already pushing forward to his target again.

His friend followed him. "What ways of fighting? Fist fighting with ghosts?" Percy just uncapped Riptide as an answer and Zayne gasped. "A baseball bat? Where for Christ's sake did you get a baseball bat and how should it affect ghosts?"

Percy sighed angrily and started saying "That's not -", before he remembered what Annabeth told him a few years ago. _"Annemoi Thuellai!"_ He shouted and stared at the growing hurricane above him. Wind started to pull on the cars and some people already hurried to enter the buildings.

"Goddammit, why the fuck are you freaking speaking Greek now, Percy?!" Zayne yelled and lost every patience, his body ever held. He couldn't believe it. Here he was, his afternoon with his best friend officially ruined, and now he discovered that they both were mentally insane or something. And on top of that, his best friend was speaking in riddles now, or even in other languages, and seemingly wanted to sacrifice himself while fighting weird lightning ghosts with a fucking magic baseball bat. Hopefully, he would wake up soon.

"Take the people away!" Percy yelled back and started shooing a group of girls away who disappeared quickly and without any second thought. Zayne gripped the hand of an older woman and pulled her with him towards the entrance of some grocery store.

"Let me go!" The voice of the man made him spin around. A guy in his forties was pulled up into the air by his shoulders, struggling to get back to the ground. A boy around five was watching him with wide, scared eyes, yelling "Daddy" over and over again. "My son!", the man shouted, angry and frightened at the same time.

Zayne watched shocked, how Percy appeared out of nowhere, apparently jumping from somewhere high and hitting the air with his baseball bat. The man gave a struggled gasp and fell a few feet, before something - the air ghosts, probably - grabbed him again. For some reason, Percy remained in the air, grabbing pure nothing with his hands, and Zayne swore he saw something flicker between visible and invisible - a boy with blinding beauty and obvious conceit.

Zayne shook from fear, but the logical part of his brain knew, he couldn't help his friend. If he threw something from the grocery store, it would just hit Percy, because a) Zayne did not have the best aim in history and b) the wind guy would just become, well, air, and it wouldn't help either way. So, the black haired boy decided to make sure the people were safe.

"Go away!" He yelled at a group of business men. They wore black and gray suits with matching ties and neat lacquer shoes, formal briefcases clamped under their arms. One of them held a cellphone in his hand, talking quickly and scared into it, obviously calling the police, some kind of disaster prevention or whatever.

Zayne ran through the crowd and pushed people out of the way, who were - sadly, but understandably - more interested in his flying friend than the teen trying to save them. But then a girl saw him and her gray, stormy eyes widened in shock. Before he could understand the weird mix of fear, hope, admiration, determination and - was it friendship? - in her facial expression as she looked at Percy, she started shouting and waving, startling people, shoving them away in every direction and eyeing the flying boy with concern.

Zayne wanted to question her actions, but he was too relieved that the people around him were finally moving, out of their stupor to say something. Instead he turned back to the business men, from whom just the one with cellphone was still were. Screams started to fill the air and far away, police sirens were heard. The dark haired boy was almost knocked off his feat by a man with a boy in his arms and clear panic on his face - the guy who was captured by the lightning boy just moments ago. Zayne jumped and stared at the fight at least 16 yards above him, ignoring the blonde girl trying to usher him into a building.

The wind guy flew around so fast, you almost couldn't follow him with your eyes. The storm whipped into Zaynes face and he had to narrow his eyes to see anything around him - and not let his eyes parch too much. The girl stood next to him, still holding his arm in an attempt to get him into the restaurant, but her eyes followed the scene as worried as his. Zayne was still impressed how Percy kept the fight going this long, but the concern outweighed.

The pair of fighting bodies (air and body, whatever) turned and right as Percy landed an especially good punch, they crashed into the front of a truck. Zayne winced and almost ran to his friend to get him away, but the girl held him back. He looked at her angrily, but she swallowed, more worry than the boy could imagine in someone's expression was held in her eyes. "Don't," she said over the wind, not taking her eyes from the car for one moment. "You can't help him."

Zayne wanted to snap back, but he knew she was right. Plus, a scream, a horrible, frightening scream, filled the air. The black haired boy was dazzled, seeing a long, white line of energy dissipate the area of his view. His ears were half deaf and he stumbled a bit, eyes shutting ever so slightly. His head hit the pavement but he didn't feel the pain. He saw the almost black clouds part and dissappear, laughing at him and every pathetic, helpless being in the world.

His head rolled to the side without his permission and he could make out the burnt body of a person lying in front of the truck, seemingly lifeless. He heard the girl scream and pray and cry and swear loudly. He saw her kneeling over the body's face, her blond, curly hair covering it and shaking with every scream of hers.

Zayne closed his eyes and his breathing became slower, as the red and blue light of the police cars filled his view.


	3. GONE AWAY PART THREE

Annabeth opened the door to Percys room. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying three days in a row. She still couldn't believe, he was gone. Gone, gone, gone. Gone forever. And she just heard him say he loved her, she finally got him to tell her, to say the truth. And then, she had to let him go. Until she couldn't anymore. Until she decided to jump out of bed this day, ignoring her groaning siblings giving her irritated looks and ran out of the cabin.

Tears started to fall again, wetting her cheeks which became a little less shrunken since she met him that day. Since she told him how much she loved him. Since he told her that too. For the first time. In ever. It had made her love him even more and all she wanted to do was kiss him like she dreamed of it.

Annabeth fell down on the bed and grabbed his pillow, partly to stifle her screams, partly to smell his familiar, salty scent again, so many times until there was no scent anymore. That thought made Annabeths heart clench and she laid back on the bed, thinking of the time he said he loved her while tears still wet her skin, hair still flew around her face in an untamable mess like his was always, no - had always been.

Her heart crushed once more and she felt that so many times lately, she thought there was no heart anymore. Just destroyed pieces and so much dust.

-•-

"You do love me, don't you?"

"Annabeth - I don't - I can't -" Percys voice was something between fearful and frantic and hopeful and longing. Annabeth felt crushed under the weight of the sky again. Her heart beat was violent but at the same time so weak she almost couldn't stand on her own legs. He made her feel like that. He made her wanting to live.

He ran his right hand through his mess of dark hair, making it stand in every possible direction. Annabeth couldn't help but think how soft it has been when she threaded her fingers into his hair, while they kissed. She loved this habit. She loved how his hair hung in his face. She loved how adorable his goofy smile looked, and the characteristic sea green eyes became puppy eyes, and the muscles hiding beneath his shirt which made her think it was the safest place in the world when he held her.

And Hades, yes, she loved how he kissed her. All she wanted to do was kissing him again, feeling if he was still this damn good kisser that made her heart beat stutter and her eyes closing in pleasure. How was it possible that he could kiss like that? Did he kiss before? Did he kiss Rachel? Or some other mortal girl from his school? Or even this snobby Drew Tanaka, daughter of Aphrodite, who was after him since two years?

"You can't? What am I supposed to think now?" She asked softly.

He looked pained. Annabeth was always pained. Every second she spent with not kissing him, made her feel worse. Demigods had an awful life, but he made her feel like she was normal, this one time he kissed her. She just wanted to feel it again. For once, he'd been right, she thought wistfully. Kissing him made everything harder.

On his birthday, she'd thought, he meant it just for him, but now she understood him. Every time he didn't look at her, made her heart break. Every time he didn't look at her, her eyes followed his strong jawline, the noticeable bags under his eyes, the shape of his gorgeous, surely still salty lips. Every time he didn't look at her, she wanted to scream and curse at him for being so awfully and impossibly good and loyal and absolutely amazing in every single way.

"Annabeth . . ." She smiled at the way he said her name. Warmly, softly, as if she was some mysterious riddle he had to solve. As if he didn't want to shoo her away. What she'd probably never do. His eyes were so understanding and puppy-ish and he always left the 'th' of her name hanging in the air, like a whisper.

But what made her smile the most was that his hand twitched and he brought it up to her face. His left hand lifted her chin gently, so she could see him and his wonderful lips better. His right hand pushed a golden curl behind her ear, accidently stroking her cheek and making her burning red, before leaving his hand at her neck. She wondered again how he did that. Bringing her into that pre-kissing position came so naturally to him. On the other hand, her fingers found his neck and back of head without her leading them too. Not that she cared.

His eyes were half closed. "I can't love you . . ." He murmured, contradicting himself with moving closer to her. The girl almost lost her breath as she felt his body against hers again, like she wished all these times before the war, and so many more times after. "It's not okay."

"Do you want to kiss me?" Annabeth asked quietly, standing on the top of her toes to look him straight into the eyes.

He groaned and closed his eyes fully. His lips came even nearer to her face and Annabeth felt a little traction in her hair. She closed her eyes and leaned forward until her nose touched his. "Hell, yes," he breathed.

"Well, then, why don't you do it?"

"I can't -" She looked up, disappointed, but he already bent his head and was inches away from her lips. His warm breath tickled her skin. "I can't be in love with you," he whispered. "I want to, but I can't."

"Be, just for a few minutes," she whispered back, longing for the feeling of his lips on hers. If he talked too much now, he would pull back some time and she would crave for it even more.

"It'll put you into too much danger," he said. Annabeth hated the ghost of his skin on hers.

"I don't care," she mumbled and finally closed the gap between them.

-•-

Annabeth couldn't help but stare at the big gray tombstone, made of marble. Silver letters were written over the even surface, pointing out his name, birthday and deathday, making her heart clench like . . . she couldn't even think of a possible comparison. She didn't dare tracing the outline of the small waves formed around the words, because it would make everything more real than it already was.

 _'True heroes fight because they have someone to protect. They suffer because they protect their loved ones. They're holding up their facades, staying behind masks, not doing that for fame or because they're told so, they're doing that, because they're able to. True heroes have a reason why they fight, a reason basing on love, family, friends.'_

She hated and loved those words, which were written underneath the main dates. They were contributed by his best mortal friend, Zayne Collister, a guy with neat black hair and steel gray eyes, who was there when he died. Even though he thought that he died because of a car, Annabeth was kind of glad, he told Sally those words. Percy said them and they mirrored his character exactly. Even though he probably thought, they didn't.

This funeral wasn't even the real funeral. They burned his shroud in Camp Half-Blood, they even let Sally and Paul in, the whole arena was full and nobody really wanted to talk or do something throughout the whole week. The shroud had been so big, because everybody wanted to write something on it, send one last wish with him or tell him something for the last time, on his last adventure. Annabeths hand had shaken so much, she almost couldn't read her own words: _It'll make everything harder, but I'm coming._ Most people had looked to the entrance of the arena every five minutes, hoping he would stand there like he did just a year ago. They even built a little plate of marble with his name and honors at him and put it onto the outside of cabin Three.

But this funeral in the mortal world seemed more real. Annabeth did attend funerals before, but mostly she wasn't as tight with the dead people as now. There were even more people here than in Camp Half-Blood. Every demigod came here, even Thalia and some other hunters, many satyrs and nature spirits, centaurs and other ones of his companions, Zayne, Sally, Paul, even Poseidon and some other gods, even Annabeths family, and finally Annabeth herself.

Zayne looked pretty overwhelmed with the crowd of people surrounding the grave. They were so many in this little graveyard, they almost poured out onto the street and into the forest on the other side. He looked with big, sad eyes at the people, realizing the honor of meeting and knowing someone so kind, good and heroic as he had been. The custodian of the graveyard had a look of awe on his face, his jaw hitting the ground when he left his little bureau and met so many mourning people. The demigods weren't silent like in the arena of Camp Half-Blood, they told each other stories from their best friend, great leader, honorable role model.

Annabeth was silent. She stood in the coveted place in front of the tombstone, next to Sally, Paul, Grover and Zayne. Nobody questioned their right to stand there. She looked dully at the grave full of flowers, not able to show tears and emotions like her companions, because every tear left her eyes days before. She saw her flowers buried under other ones, other plants growing slowly because of Demeter kids and nature spirits, and realized somewhat sad and proud that there hadn't even been half of the people able to put their flowers here at this point.

Her own bouquet was made of blue, turquoise and sea green hydrangeas, because they'd been his favorite flowers, the sea like surface occasionally halted with silver, shining moonlace from the flower on his windowsill. On some places she saw moonlace pushing through the hard, icy ground and showing their true beauty.

She remembered his laugh and how he'd joke about everything - real jokes, their adventures, his problems -, be selfless and still care about her and the others on the brink of death . . . and suddenly, finally, _soothingly,_ tears started to fall again.

-•-

"He was a good guy," the pastor summarized, his cheeks red because he'd been rocked by the obvious love and respect that was focused on this Percy Jackson. He couldn't even hope that were would be that many people at his own funeral. Maybe there wouldn't be that many people at any funeral in the whole world. "A loving son, a caring friend, a selfless hero who saved people that day from the car. We're all proud of him and we will never stop mourning over his death, but we will try to be like him someday. Doing something good to the world, for any price."

His speech ended exactly at eleven in the morning. They needed three hours to complete the funeral and give everyone the possibility to say goodbye to him. The pastor stayed throughout the whole time. Nobody left until everybody was gone.

-•-

Three months after his death, a new novel was published from his mother, Sally Jackson. It narrated the story of a young boy who found out that he was a demigod son of the sea god Poseidon. He met a demigod daughter of Athena and a satyr who'd become his best friends and defeated enemies in the mythological world. The story told how he loved the girl, but didn't ask her out because he had to protect her.

The novel was based on a true story, but even though the book became the bestseller for almost three months, nobody got how much it told of the truth. Excluding the demigods. Because for them, the book told the story of their greatest hero since long ago.

-•-

"I need your help, Nico," Annabeth said three days after the funeral. Her voice was pressed and agonized and unbelievable sad. She'd been spending her time in Percys room throughout the whole week, not really sleeping, just trying to tell herself that he'd walk into the room soon, like nothing happened. But he never did.

"With what, Annabeth?" The voice of the son of Hades didn't sound any better. He was sustained by his black stygian iron sword that was almost longer than his legs. His skin was so pale, the blue bags of sadness under his eyes stood out like Hades. "He's in Elysium now. I saw him there. Dad showed it to me. I saw his judging. They knew him, obviously, and they even said, he'd have to be reborn just once to enter the Isles of Bless. I can't bring him back to life, Annabeth. Almost everybody asked me, but it's impossible at this point."

The last bit of hope in her body vanished, but she'd expected that. How should Nico bring Percy back to life? His body was burned from . . . she couldn't even think of it. It was more painful than remembering his smiling, happy face, his pleading, baby seal puppy eyes, his soft, salty lips on hers, his adorable, endearing loyalty, selflessness and kindness, his not so heroic appearance but best personality in the whole history. She closed her eyes, but couldn't help the tear slipping out of her eye.

"Of course," she said finally, her voice cracking but determined. "I need something else. Just come, please. Tomorrow, at ten in the morning? On his grave?"

"Annabeth . . ." His eyes were wide and his expression alarmed, but she didn't want to hear that. Her decision was resolute, and if he didn't want to help her, she would do it herself. "If you're sure, I'm coming," he said, his legs no longer holding him up, and he sat down. "But please say goodbye," he added, before he waved his sword through the Iris Message.

-•-

Hazel hid beneath a tree. The dark, almost black wood scraped over her fingers and she was once more mesmerized that she could feel down here in asphodel. Being the daughter of this strange man who once appeared in their house seemed to have certain advantages.

The girl stared at the milky white ghosts, almost transparent, their faces faint and blurred. She couldn't make out forms or anything, they weren't even exactly ghosts, they were just existences. Existences without importance, living without remembering, completely different from her.

She wished they weren't, so she could try to find her mother. Once she thought she'd found her, but then the figure dissolved into mist and her ghost was gone, once again. Hazel didn't even now why she wanted to find her mother. This woman almost destroyed the world!

Sometimes she heard the furies talking. Sometimes they talked to her. Alecto could be very brutal and evil, but she was useful for her. She was the reason, Hazel knew anything about the world outside. Once Hazel asked, if the world was destroyed. From this giant she created. From the dirt woman. From anything.

Alecto told her the following: "It's not. But it'll be. We know it. Something is about to happen. Our master is going to send us out, to find the fault. To find the demigod, the one who could destroy our world. He already stole masters helmet during the winter solstice."

Since then, Hazel had been very careful with asking her questions. Sometimes Cerberus visited her. She liked him, even with him being a three headed dog monster. Her first wish as a living child had been a horse, of course, but she also admired the dog Sammys family had.

She'd heard from the furies that demigods had been in the underworld. That they'd visited her dad. She always tried that but Alecto wouldn't let her. Hazel had wanted to ask questions about the world outside. The demigods went through asphodel.

She ran after them but as she reached them, they'd already entered the area of her father's palace. Everything she'd seen were a black haired back of a head, a girl with golden locks and a third figure with a loud green hat on his head. They didn't seem older than her, maybe even younger from their height. She'd waited there until the furies told her to go away, but the demigods never came back.

Not long after that, chaos broke loose. Naturally, no ghost understood what was happening and ignored the furies hissing constantly and Cerberus barking and the frightened faces of the new ghosts who entered elysium. Hazel did not. She tried to talk to Alecto, but everything she got from the furie was: "It's happening! It's happening, girl! He's coming!", before she flew away to sizzle at some ghosts, so they'd go away from some cave Hazel had never seen before.

Nobody came. The monsters stopped being so panicked. But Hazel still felt the cold breath hanging over the head of every ghost down here, breathing in and out, loud but silent, dangerous but unknown. Hazel did not enter the cave. It seemed to be central location of the monster that was breathing. Nobody told her what it was. Alecto just told her to stay away.

At some point Alecto was gone again. She'd went outside for at least a week, before flying straight through the underworld to the dark palace looming over the whole place. After that she was at the fields of punishment and hissed at the evil ghosts for an eternity. Hazel stayed as near as she could be and she reckoned to see the furie abnormal often with some ghost of a fat, ugly man playing cards with Medusas and being forced to drink fire to stay not set like stone. She wondered what that was about.

When Hazel finally got to ask the furie about her absence, she told her she had to find Hazels half siblings, Hazel asked a lot of things, being excited and all, but Alecto told her just a few things. She had a brother and a sister from another mother, an Italien woman. They were maybe as old as her, and they were born some time before her. They'd been stuffed in a casino where time stagnated. They had both dark brown, almost black hair, the olive skin of their mother - who was dead - and dark brown eyes. Alecto said, Hazel had to stay away from them if she ever met them.

A little after that, Alecto became more impersonal and aloof. Sometimes Hazel caught her hissing at a boy, a boy who looked very much alive. She never interrupted them and stayed away from him, who surely was her brother. Even as she watched him camping at the river Styx with another ghost, she left him alone.

Soon after that she got a new person to talk to. An old man with energetic eyes entered asphodel, looking as powerful as a teen. Hazel befriended him as she helped him building transitions between the areas of the underworld. His name was Daedalus and he was really old. From the time before Rome. He was Greek.

From him, Hazel heard from the kids that visited the underworld a while ago for the first time since then. She didn't get the names, but they seemed to be powerful, important, alive and involved in every important thing happening outside. Daedalus knew there was a Prophecy about the next child of Zeus, Poseidon or Hades - apparently the man believed the Greek gods were alive, not the Roman - who would become sixteen years old.

The dark haired boy Hazel saw that day was the son of Neptune. The girl was Daedalus half sister, but Hazel didn't know who the goddess Athena was. Hazel got that this prophecy was the reason why her dad wanted to hide her siblings. They shouldn't be the ones involved in the prophecy. And apparently the son of Neptune was now older than them, so they could live normal, without strange prophecies.

Daedalus also told her he met her brother. The kid seemed depressed and broken, the man told her, but he was still strong and skilled. He was very powerful and did not have the curse Hazel had. He controlled the death. He defeated Daedalus enemy, Minos, and now they searched another judge over the dead. And he told her the name of her brother: Nico di Angelo. Hazel thought it sounded really Italian.

After another while she saw the wife of her father, Persephone, coming back to the underworld not alone. A bitching woman in a green dress followed her through the ghosts, almost fainting as Hazel spoke up with a deep bow. Persephone shot Hazel a dirty look before shooing her away. Hazel then hated for the second time in her after-life.

A lot of new people for elysium entered the underworld, and everybody had the silver glowing aura that said demigod. Hazel stared worried and timid at them. Almost everybody wore armory and weapons, but everything vanished when they entered elysium and that left an orange shirt and blue trousers for the one side, the other ones had violett shirts. Hazel was a little jealous they could enter elysium, but she knew it had been her own choice. But she was also relieved she didn't see her brother or sister with them.

She decided to stay a while at this place and watched all the honorable people and demigods entering elysium. The line of people waiting was amazingly long at this point but that period stopped short after. Then, she saw her brother again. He went through the ghosts and they quickly eluded him. He had dark hair that hung into his face, sad, dark eyes and wore too big, black clothes with skulls all over the fabric.

She tried to hide but he found her behind the same dead tree she hid behind now. He told her, he searched her since his father told him of her. At this point Hazel smiled. He told her, his sister Bianca was dead. Hazel hugged him. He told her the reason why so many people entered elysium. They won a war. Saturn, a titan, had risen and there was a war against his brother, Krios.

Hazel asked where Saturn was. Nico said he disappeared - he probably hid in Tartarus again. Hazel asked what Tartarus was and he showed her the cave Hazel found a while ago. He also said something was about to happen with the death. And he promised to see her again, right here, at this tree.

Hazel continued to watch the people entering elysium. She found somebody who looked familiar. A dark haired boy entered the path to elysium. His clothes changed to an orange shirt and blue trousers, like all the other demigods a while ago. He had green eyes, really green and stormy like the ocean she once visited with Sammy and his family in New Orleans.

"Hey," Hazel spoke up, uncertain. He looked up, surprised, then came nearer to the border between their after-lifes. "Have you been here before?"

The boy looked around in deep thought. "Yeah, a while ago," he answered. "But I was alive then. Why? Who are you?"

"My name is Hazel," she said smiling. "So, you're this son of Neptune? I heard a lot from you. And I saw you then, entering my fathers palace."

"Wait a second, who?" The other one asked. "My father is Poseidon. No Neptune. Who is Neptune?"

Hazel frowned. "He's the sea god, I believe. But, aren't the Roman gods alive?"

"Roman?" The boy frowned too. "No, the Greek gods. I guess. Aren't they? I know a lot of Greek gods kids. No Roman kid."

Hazel opened her mouth, confused. "M-My dad is Pluto. The Roman god of the underworld and riches."

"Really?" The boy asked. "Well, that's interesting."

"What's your name?" Hazel asked, curious. "I never got it."

"Percy," he said. "Percy Jackson. Well, in real it's Perseus, but I never liked that."

Before Hazel could answer, she heard a familar screech. The boy looked up, alarmed, too. A dark figure dropped out of nowhere between them and Alecto showed her teeth to Percy, apparently grinning. "No, no, sweetheart. You aren't a demigod anymore. Ghosts can't do what they want. Now go away or I put you into asphodel."

Fury appeared in his eyes, but apparently something held him back, instinctively. Hazel understood that. If she got the chance to choose between asphodel and elysium - without worrying about her mother - she'd definitely choose elysium. Even though there was something else in Percys eyes, something soft . . .

"But why can she remember, if she's inasphodel?" The boy asked, as he backed away slowly, towards the path. "Because she's a daughter of Hades? Or Pluto. Whatever."

"None of your business," Alecto hissed and shot around to Hazel. "Go."

"But . . ." Hazel tried to argue. She was certain, they both discovered a very important and delicate topic. She wanted to know more.

"No buts! Go!"

Hazel went away. And so did Percy. But they went different paths.

And now, Hazel hid. She hid from Alecto and her sisters. Because Nico had to tell her something as important and delicate as her meeting Percy. Or so she thought. But he seemed so excited and Nico never was excited.

"Hazel!" She knew this hissing. She turned and hugged Nico who seemed uncertain for a moment, before hugging her back.

"Hey," she whispered and smiled. "How are you? What's wrong?"

He looked around nervously. "I could distract Alecto for a few minutes. But a couple of days ago I had to take a soul." Nico looked down, his eyes darker than the wood of the dead tree they were hiding behind.

"Oh gods," Hazel said and held a hand in front of her opened mouth. She knew Nico was very upset, since his full sister died a while ago, but she didn't know he could and would do something like that.

"She wanted it, not me," he said exasperated, pleading, his eyes big and round like from a kid. "She wanted to be with the boy she loved."

"So you took her soul?"

"It's a better death than letting her kill herself," he mumbled sadly. "So I could make sure she entered elysium like him."

"It's okay, Nico," she told him and hugged him. "It was her own choice. Right?"

"Right," he said and straightened up. "And I have a solution for that. Listen, dad gave me a lot of work lately. Thanatos is gone. I was where he was last. He'd caught a ghost who tried to escape, but then . . ." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I don't know, but there was a lot of evil there. I felt it. And cold. And Roman. It felt like I feel around you - Roman. And Thanatos is gone."

"Who is Thanatos?" Hazel asked curiously.

"The god of death," he answered. "Dad's the god of the underworld, and he's the god of death. You know, every once in a while exits open and - especially the bad ghosts - try to escape there and live again. He catches them. But now, he's gone. And ghosts escape."

"Can't the furies do something?" Hazel asked concerned, oblivious to the reason why he was so excited.

"Hazel, think about it!" He whisper-shouted. "There's a reason why dad told me right now of you. Your life's not over! Ghosts escape. I can get you out of here! See! You even could enter elysium now, but when the furies got control again, they would put you back in asphodel. Hazel, you could have the chance to get a new life and enter elysium after."

Hazels mouth opened shocked. She never thought of the chance to escape. She always wished, she could live again. She always wished but it never occurred to her, that it could become real now. She could enter elysium, like the judges offered her once. But was that right? She died and she knew from her first years down here, that the laws of death didn't contain a second chance to live. And from what Nico told her, this Thanatos god asserted these laws.

"But when Thanatos appears again," she said tentatively. "Won't he take me back down here?"

Nico looked down at the ground. His eyes became even darker and suddenly her big brother looked exasperated. "Look Hazel," he said quietly. "I didn't want to tell you here, so that you'll don't have the feeling you have to do this. But this cold I felt where Thanatos was last . . . Hazel, there's something out there. Dad told me of a prophecy that will happen soon. And I'm pretty sure, it contains giants. Like . . . the one you created."

Her blood ran cold. That was not possible. She created that giant, but she also destroyed him. He laid deep down in the earth of that island in Alaska, dead, motionless, unconscious. Right? But if Nico was right . . .

"Okay," she said quietly. "That's my responsibility. I have to destroy him fully. I have to find Thanatos. Even if he takes my life again."

He nodded, not a hint of a smile forming on his face. Suddenly, Hazel understood why Nico wanted her alive, too. He missed Bianca, his sister, and he wanted her to be his new sister. Because his old sister decided to be reborn. Hazel never had siblings and she could only imagine how hard that had to be for Nico. But by now she saw him as her big brother and she wanted him safe, loved and happy. She promised herself to try and make sure he was going to get all good he deserved.

"We have to go to elysium before this," Nico told her as he looked over the roots of the dead tree. "Good. Alecto is still busy. We can go."

"Wait!" Hazel grabbed his arm before he could creep out of their hiding place. "Why do we have to go to elysium?"

Nico turned his head and smiled. "Remember the girl whose soul I took?" He asked. She nodded. "That was before I knew of the prophecy. The prophecy speaks of seven half-bloods. And I'm pretty sure, she and her friend - the reason she wanted to die, you know - are two of them."

"Why?" She asked.

"Because they didn't die just because of monsters, but because they inwardly wanted to be together. And I'll show them, they can be like this alive too. They're the most powerful demigods since centuries. We need them to defeat the new enemy. I don't know if they will escape with us, but I have to try. Otherwise I'll never be able to live with myself."

Hazel was silent for a few seconds, before nodding. "Okay." _Maybe,_ she thought. _Maybe I'll see Percy again and get him to escape with us too._

 **I do realize that the inscription on the gravestone is a little long, but hey, why not? It's Percy Jackson, everything's possible, literally. So, how was it? Please review!**


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